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Advice
I think people should always have someone to come
to when they have a problem. Sometimes it's better to talk to a total stranger because they don't personally know you, so
you don't have to worry about them slipping up and saying something to someone. I wish I would've had someone to talk to when
I was having trouble in my life, but I never had that. So, I'm using this page as an advice column. You can email me your
questions and I will email you the best advice I have to offer. All questions will remain confidential unless you give me
permission to post them.
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Q: Hi Lana. I have a situation. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for a long time now. However,
we're both kind of wanting to try new things, but he is wanting to try anal sex. Should I do it and is it going to hurt.
~ Anonymous
A: Hi Anonymous. Well although it is important to try new things and spice up your sex life every now and then,
do not do anything that you are not comfortable with. But if you are willing to participate in anal sex, here are some
tips on making things go a little smoother because yes it will most likely hurt at first.
1. -Use a condom.
2. -Use plenty of lubrication (the anus doesn't produce it's own).
3. - Get your partner to give external stimulation with something small (like a finger) until you are relaxed. (Being
relaxed is important).
4. - When you begin,go slow because the anus doesn't produce it's own lubrication and is also easier to tear.
5. - Set the depth and pace and enjoy.
Q: Lana, I am a lesbian and I believe me and my partner are experiencing lesbian bed death. Any suggestions to
spice things up? Kayla, 19
A: Hi Kayla! There are many ways to spice up a sex life. You and your girlfriend could role play, buy a strap on
and have anal sex, the possibilities are endless. Try bondage or something else erotic. If you don't want to do anything drastic,
then just spice up the little things that you may already do. For instance, if you participate in oral sex, instead of just
going down under all the time, have a sixty nine. Instead of just letting her finger you, let her do it while she's performing
oral sex or instead of fingering, use toys. There are millions of ways to spice things up. If things are still
boring, then maybe you guys aren't connecting anymore. If that's the case, maybe you should take a second look at the relationship.
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Q: Hi Lana. My name is Kassy and I would like to ask you a question. I have a boyfriend who just got out of jail.
I waited on him for 2 and a half years and now that he's out I never see him. He's always going out with friends. He never
makes time for me and we were suppose to be getting married.
A: Kassy, I have a friend in a similar situation. It's good that you love someone enough to wait on them, but what if
you just wasted two and a half years of your life? What if he's not really the one? It seems to me that if he was the one
and he loved you and wanted to marry you, then he would be around more ,right? Now if he's only been out for a few days, then
his behavior may be acceptable because he's anxious to see friends and family as well as you. Remember that you weren't the
only person he didn't get to see. However, if this has been going on for weeks and you have yet to get in 10 minutes with
him, I would kick him to the curb.
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